My day so far, and a bad mistake?

So far today I have hunted for a lost horse, mopped the kitchen floor, washed the table and all the chairs, and I took Joshua into town to sell watermelons for scouts. I think now I will make some more waffles to go with my buttermilk syrup. Let's see if we can add another pound today! Oh, and just to clarify...buttermilk is nasty. This syrup is good though. And I just got a phone call. I may be making a huge mistake right about now, but....we really need a new car. Nothing fancy mind you, just something reliable (the van is 11 yrs old) so I am off to pick up my new explorer. Well, new to me. I may just be driving my family down the road to homelessness. Off I go....weeeeeeeeeee! P.S. Can we come live with you? ( I will explain my reasoning for the new vehicle later)

Just testing.....

So I've already posted once today. (Please read it and post a comment! I need help!) This is just a tiny test to see if I can figure out how to post to my blog from an email because I want to have a wider variety of fonts to choose from. Hope this works! Oh, and I changed my ear candy. This song had to grow on me, but i absolutely love this song now. Enjoy and Goodnight!

Good Intentions

And you know what they say about them. So do you really think it is true? That the road to hell is paved with them?
I really do have the best intentions with everything.
I have the intention to be a great (not good mind you, I can do that in my sleep) mother. I think I am a great when it comes to normal "raising". My kids are clean, fed, clothed, very well behaved IMO . Our house in sanitary 90% of the time. I don't want to be good, I am talking WONDERFUL. That is my intention. Bake my own bread, quilt, 3 delicious meals a day, read bedtime stories every night, prayer, scripture study, family home evening, playing games, taking them places, teaching them to sew, cook, plant a garden, work hard, be all around good people. They are all going to go to college (hopefully) and have careers where they aren't worried about money all the time like we are. (It totally sucks.)

I have every intention of being a terrific friend. Invite them over for BB Q's. Take them dinner when they are sick. Have the intuition to call them "just because" and find out they were having a terrible day and I brightened it. Listen. Start a play group for our kids. (and learn to like other people's kids). Send out lots of "good mail" and e cards to my far away friends. Start a dinner swap (been meaning to do that for weeks).

I have the intention of making up my mind about what I want to do with my life once all the kids are in school. Is it more important for me to get to a point where I can have a career and make money? Or to a point where I feel like I can breath enough to become that wonderful mother mentioned above? What is more important? I know for a fact that I am sick and tired of worrying about what is going to happen if Jared even misses one week of work. It would be catastrophic. Seriously, out -on- the- street -with- no -food catastrophic. I am sick of that looming over my head all the time. But then I read the prophets talks about how important it is for the mother to be in the home and I get confused. I would not be going to work so that we could buy a boat or drive a fancy car (oh man we SO need a new car). I would be going to work so that if the hot water heater went out we would be able to replace it. KWIM? Right now I just don't know what to do. I feel like I am unable to receive answers to prayers.

I really want to learn how to DO something. Painting, sewing, photography, sign language. Something. I need a hobby that doesn't consist of me sitting on my keister. And something that isn't expensive. Maybe even play the piano? Except I don[t have a piano. I want to feel like I am good at something. That I have a talent. I feel so talentless. I need to do something about that. That is my intention.

I have every intention of losing 20-25 pounds, but I have also baked two Texas sheet cakes in the last week (yes 2!) trying to be a good wife and mother. Oh and buttermilk syrup, trying to use up the buttermilk I bought for the sheet cake. And you have to make waffles to go with the syrup. Twice. You would think my intention was to gain 20 pounds. Oh and I need to exercise. I intend to, tomorrow. And when tomorrow comes I never do.

There are a ton of other things that I intend to do, but don't. I'm not sure If I am lazy. Can't figure out how? Too shy or insecure , nervous, apprehensive, self-doubting, anxious to put myself out there? What is my problem???? How do I start doing what I intend? I do not want to continue on this "road to hell". I need help and suggestions.

I'm SO NOT a photographer

Though I would love to be able to take nice pictures.
I do take pictures occasionally though,and here are the latest.





The first picture she was watching TV. Then she realized I was snapping shots and had to do a cheesy smile..lol

What is YOUR Band Name?

Your Band Name is:

The Mormon Ninjas

http://www.blogthings.com/bandnamegenerator/">Band Name Generator

LOL Ironic isn't it?

My Celebrity Look a likes....

Don't I wish it were true! LOL



So who do you "supposedly" look like?

Hummm.....

So I changed my ear candy. I love the 70's sounds that are coming back! (yes, really) So I put on my new favorite song, then I notice that it says:
"Maroon 5 Make Me Wonder (Clean)"
So is there a Maroon 5 Makes Me Wonder (Dirty)? Anyone?

Grilled Cheese? Who'd a thunk

You Are a Grilled Cheese Sandwich

You are a traditional person with very simple tastes. In your opinion, the best things in life are free, easy, and fun. You totally go with the flow. And you enjoy every minute of it! Your best friend: The Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich Your mortal enemy: The Ham Sandwich

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofsandwichareyouquiz/">What Kind of Sandwich Are You?

I Love Spring!

My Wild Flowers are finally UP! We snapped a few pictures. Dallin is missing, he was in the truck with Jared.

The Dream

So I had this dream.
I was in the temple.
I was in the C. Room waiting for Jared when a woman walked in and smiled at me.
She looked familiar but I couldn't quite place her.
She sat down next to me and touched my hand and said "You understand don't you".
When I heard that Australian accent I knew right away who it was.
Kylie.
I didn't quite recognize her because she was perfect and unblemished.
So like I said, she said "You understand don't you" and I said "Of course I do".
Then she said something like "Now I can look after everyone" or "Now I can be everywhere" or something like it.
Then she just looked around the room for a minute and we were silent. Then she said "It's beautiful isn't it". And I said "Yes" and nodded. Then she got this look in her eye, a grin, and whispered in my ear "People are just DYING to get in here ya know?" And I went to stick my elbow in her side and give her a "Kylie!" Or a good scolding and she was gone.
In the chair where she sat, was a piece of paper.
I picked it up, and this poem was on it:

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

I am the song that will never end.
I am the love of family and friend.
I am the child who has come to rest
In the arms of the Father who knows him best.

When you see the sunset fair,
I am the scented evening air.
I am the joy of a task well done.
I am the glow of the setting sun.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
(Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!)

Ever since that dream I cannot think of Kylie and be sad. I've cried enough for now.