Kylie Watson

In Memory of a Loving Mother, Wife, and wonderful friend.
Half a world away, and still one of the best friends ever!
One year She was even Santa Claus to my children.
She was the one I told all my secrets to.
She always made me laugh.
She was a true example of what a friend should be.
She was my late night sanity.
She knew how to talk me down from the ledge.
Why couldn't I have done thae same for for her?
I will miss you terribly my Ky Ky.

Remembering....

It was a horrible day. I had been hurting all day. I thought it was just a stomach ache because I had been sick a couple days earlier.
Jared had left to play basketball. I told him I was fine to go ahead and go. He had been gone for about 20 minutes when I had gone to the bathroom and the toilet paper was pink. I called the hospital and they told me to come in.

I tried and tried to get ahold of Jared and couldn't. I was hurting so bad at this point I couldn't stand up, so I picked up the phone to call 9-11 and Jared came through the door. He said he had a feeling to come home.

We drove FAST to the hospital after taking Joshua to Jason and Rachel's (they lived acrossed the sidewalk).

When we got the the hospital Jared carried me inside and they called my Dr. He came in and checked me and said to the nurses (not to me) "she's dialated to 10, there's nothing I can do, send her upstairs to have it". And he walked out.

I was wheeled upstairs to labor and delivery. It was about 8 or so. Tanner James Tolman was born in the middle of the night. He was very tiny, but perfect in every way. I held him for 3 hours before the mortuary came and got him.

The mortuary put him in embalming fluid (his veins were too small), wrapped him in a cute blanket, put him in a white casket. They brought him to the cemetery, set up chairs for the funeral and did all of this for nothing. They were so nice.

There was no definate cause for his death. I am not sure whether he died and that sent me into labor, or if I went into labor and that killed him.

He should have been born in March of 1996. He should have been 11.

Cookies, cookies, cookies.....

So we made cookies tonight (me and the 3 youngest). Think I can count this as Family Home Evening? (We've been horrible about it lately).
Today was the boys' last day of school. Not sure I like that idea..lol
I kept asking them "Don't they have summer school?"

Graduation Day!

My little girl is getting so big!
1st grade here we come!
So, am I just biased? Or is she drop dead gorgeous??!!?

Song of the Day!

So I added a little "element" to the right hand side of the page...
I will try to update the song whenever I post.
This first song is thanks to my friend Ana.
Thanks Ana! Can't quit singing it, and neither can the kids...LOL
(You must push the play button for it to start)

Socks for Sale.....

$5.00 a pair, $2.00 shipping (shipping is .50 more for each additional pair)
Tri bead socks are $7.00 a pair (they take forever to make, and alot more beads)
Any color, any size. (Small 6-10 1/5) (Medium 10 1/5 - 4) (Large 4-10) (Or Newborn 0-6 mo, Infant 6-12 months, toddler 12-24 months).

I have just about every color of every type of bead, and I also have pearls :)

Just request what you want, and if I don't have it, I will let you know ASAP.

Here are some pictures of the beads:

Is something wrong with me?

I never wish for anyone to get hurt. Like people say..."I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy" and what not.
So why is it that when I hear that my MIL fell and broke her nose and her arm, that I don't feel the need to go to her. I really don't feel anything.
When we decided that we were separating our family from the rest of Jared's family, we meant it. Now this happens, and I am sure everyone is just waiting for us to go running towards her KWIM? It isn't going to happen. I AM NOT and WILL NOT put my children, or Jared and I in the position to get hurt again. I am sick of people making up lies, and people believing them.
Eventually the truth always comes out in the end, so...I need to stop fretting about it.
I know I am a good person. I THINK so anyhow.

Boo-Hoo

I am so sad that I cannot go to Park City with my wonderful friends.
I want to call my dentist and see if he could possilby get me looking normal so that I could go.
But I might still be in pain, and I might not be able to eat everything I want to eat (and that is half the fun isn't it?) And I doubt he would change his mind.
I'm really bummed.
I am sick of looking like a freak, and talking like a freak.
I want my smile back.

100 things about me (finally)

1. I was born in Panarama City (Los Angeles) California. I think my mother was still in denial she was pregnant. (She was 41 and my nearest sibling was 8)

2. I have 1 sister and 6 brothers. My sister was 2nd. Every time my mom would go into the hospital to have a baby and it would be a boy, she would run to her room and cry. By time I came along she was 20 and out of the house.

3. My mom still lives in the same house the family lived in when I was born. I never had to move as a child.

4. My mom is now 76, and my dad would be 88 next month but he died when he was 80.

5. When I was pregnant with Joshua I had hyperemesis gravidarum. I went from 130 to 103 in a matter of a month. I looked gross. I had a blessing and it all went away instantly.

6. When I was a senior in High School (Go Antelopes!) I played powder puff football. I was center. I played one play and made them take me out...LOL

7. My first job was at Pizza Hut and I loved it

8. I have 2 sons and 2 daughters

9. I've lost 2 babies. One was very early (but I am convinced it was a girl) and the other was at 18 weeks. It was a boy we named Tanner James. I designed his headstone.

10. I think I am an awesome driver. I think most drivers need to go back to drivers ed.

11. I am a closet Days of Our Lives watcher. Have been since Kindergarten.

12. My favorite flower is a carnation because they last longer than other flowers.

13. After I lost my 2 babies I started collecting angels (mostly Dreamsicles) but I haven't bought any in a long time, and they are all in a box :(

14. When I was 11 I had confirmation that the Book of Mormon was true. And when I get doubtful in my old age (lol) I remember that.

15. I cannot stand whining. From children or adults.

16. I've only broken 2 bones. One in my hand from punching my BIL in the face (long story but he totally deserved it) and I broke my foot when I was a teenager jumping out of a swing.

17. I only had pain medicine in child birth one time, and I couldn't figure out how to push her out so they had to use the vacuum.

18. I am a major home body. I love to just sit at home and enjoy doing nothing. (Maybe it has to do with being majorly self conscience and having a minor people phobia?)

19. I love thunderstorms. Any major weather fascinates me.

20. When I pull clothes out of the dryer I always take a second to sniff them. Love the smell of fresh laundry.

21. My favorite smell is fresh rain

22. I don't like talking on the phone

23. I love musicals. My favorites that I have been to were Fiddler on the Roof and Gypsy. (I've always secretly wanted to be in one, but I can't sing)

24. I am 34 and I don't have 1 gray hair (yet)

25. I love Yard sales and thrift stores

26. I didn't have my first kiss til I was 16. And it was a MAJOR kiss with a 20 yr old hottie.

27. I am definitely a night owl. I hate mornings. Most days after getting the kids off to school, I crawl back in bed.

28. I usually wear shoes, while the rest of my family kicks their shoes off as soon as they walk in the door.

29. I do not like seafood

30. I prefer small town life.

31. I haven't flown in years, but when I have flown I prefer the window seat. My favorite part of flying is take off....vroom!

32. I like to bowl (thought I rarely do). I was once on a bowling league and got "most improved" LOL

33. I think I am very logical and have great common sense

34. I have 5 fish, 2 cats (Fuzzy Wuzzy and Frankie) and a cow.

35. Two years ago I got a nintendo DS for Christmas. I play Animal Crossing daily.

36. My favorite computer game right now is Cake Mania

37. I love watching NASCAR and College Football

38. When there is nothing on TV I watch The Food Network. My fav is Paula Deen.

39. I am afraid of snakes

40. My favorite peanut butter is Jif

41. My favorite candy bar is a whatchamacalit. I eat the caramel off the top first, then the crunchy part second.

42. My first car was a Chevy Chevette.

43. My second car was a Hyundai Excel named Bertha

44. I was in Camp Fire Girls

45. When I was in grade school I got flashed by a genuine flasher, twice. I had to be interviewed by the police.

46. I love feel good music, that is why I like 80's music so much. I also like songs that tell a story.

47. I love crunching ice

48. My Siblings names are Richard James, Kristine, David Ralph, Brent G, Larry Michael, Alan Scott, and Brian Floyd

49. I am very ticklish. But I hate being tickled.

50. I love to read, but I don't do it very often

51. All My grandparents are dead. 2 were gone before I was born.

52. When I get home from church the first thing I do is change my clothes.

53. I have a brother that nobody has heard from in over 13 years. I think he is probably dead.

54. I love Cold Stone Ice Cream

55. I have never had a weight issue with the exception of the last 6 months.

56. I have lost almost 10 pounds in the last month (Yay for me!)

57. I almost committed suicide once. I had all the pills out and the water poured. A voice told me to lock myself out of the bathroom. It saved my life.

58. My entire house needs to be re-carpeted and re-painted

59. We could use a new car, but right now I am content with my van, and no payment.

60. I teach CTR 6. There are 6 girls and 2 boys in the class.

61. I hate being accused of something I didn't do or didn't say

62. I am a loyal friend. I feel like I need more friends.

63. Sometimes I think I want to go to school to be an RN. Sometimes I think there are other professions I would like to do. Sometimes I think I just want to be a SAHM forever.

64. I think I am a good mother, and I think I have good children.

65. More times than not, other peoples kids drive me nuts

66. Music can easily change my mood for the better

67. In the pre-existence I had a beautiful voice. I was in a choir. Part of my test here on earth is not being able to sing. It sucks.

68. I have never heard my mother say the words "I love you". But I know she does.

69. I love roller coasters. I haven't been on one in almost 9 years.

70. I am anything but a pack rat. If I don't need it or it isn't sentimental, I chunk it.

71. When I was a girl I wanted to be a beautician. I was going to open a salon called " Human Groomin" (got the idea from "pet grooming" I thought I was pretty clever)

72. When I was a kid we would vacation every summer in either Notis Idaho (to visit aunt Ina) , or Idaho Falls (to visit grandma). My niece Laura would usually go too. She is only 2 years younger than me.

73. I like any kind of music from AC/DC to Barry Manilow. I don't like rap, gangsta, or opera though.

74. I don't make my bed every day. Why? I'm just going to mess it up again and nobody sees it

75. I am the barber for everyone in my family.

76. I prefer dark poultry to white if eating it plain. If it is with gravy or on a sandwich then I prefer white meat.

77. I hate salesmen

78. When driving alone I crank the stereo and sing!

79. I threw up in class in the 1st grade. I said to the kid next to me "Don't just stare at me, tell the teacher!" I knew I was sick that day, but I was afraid to tell my mom for some reason.

80. My dream home would be a log cabin

81. I believe that no one is ugly. Everyone is beautiful in their own way.

82. My left eye is nearsighted (20/ 325) my right eye is 20/20. I don't wear glasses or contacts.

83. As a teenager I went to 2 "New Kids on the Block" concerts.

84. I can remember being a devil, Minnie Mouse, A hobo, a baby, and an old lady for Halloween.

85. I love to just watch the ocean. It's very peaceful.

86. I would love to become more outgoing

87. My favorite cat was Herman. Even after he had babies she was still Herman.

88. I love to laugh. But if I laugh too much and I am standing up I have a tendency to pee.

89. My elementary school was Sunnydale. We were the Red Devils. Junior High was Park View, Chargers. High School was Antelope Valley HS, Antelopes.

90. I graduated in 1990. I was 17.

91. I don't have any college credits although I attended Ricks college twice. First time was in 1990. I went home in October because my dad had a major heart attack. I stayed in California for 2 weeks (we thought he was going to die) and I never went back to class. I just went home at Christmas. Second time was in 92 when I met Jared. I got booted out because he has stayed the night in my apt and one of my roommates told on me. (he slept on the couch)

92. I love to cook. I just never have the extra money to cook what I want to try, so I just stick with cheap and simple. I hate to clean up after cooking.

93. My kitchen is decorated with cows. But everything is so old, I really need to start over.

94. I love all seasons. Every one has its own beauty.

95. Sometimes I crack myself up.

96. I love eating veggies right out of the garden. That is one of the joys of country living.

97. I sometimes fantasize about winning the lottery. Most of my dreaming is how I am going to help other people. It is really fun.

98. Some of the best times of my life were at girls camp and Youth Conference.

99. I love my family with my whole heart.

100. I have a testimony of the Gospel.

A HUGE THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!

To my Friends Leah, Victoria and Kris!

You Gals made my week. (Amazing how such a small gesture can do that, eh?)

Love your guts!